All those feelings come rushing back

[Progress]

It's like a ton of bricks all at once.

I hadn't conversed with her in weeks and haven't seen her since the breakup, (more than three months now). Even recently I hadn't thought about her, maybe only a couple times during that day rather than almost every 10 minutes. Anyway, I had gotten a friend request on My Space so I logged in. I hadn't been on there in almost three months. Well, I see a pic of her (she's still on my top eight) and it was a new pic and she looked amazing. I just still can't get passed it. I know I need more time but just when you think you're doing great, you get knocked down oodles of pegs just by one little glance.

ARGH!

/ranting vent

[Narnian]

Yeah, that bites-you-on-the-arse feeling ain't at all nice. New day tomorrow. Pick up there. Be kind to yourself today.

:cry:

[Orangie]

Progress, I'm right there with you. 3 months for me too, was doing okay, and then brief contact from him which probably meant nothing but put me in a tailspin. It's awful, I know. Why can't they invent some kind of pill that kills the feelings?

[DigitalDreams]

Yeh - it's horrible.

It doesn't help when you still find them attractive. Even worse when you have a child between you so contact is inevitable ! (consider yourself VERY lucky).

I keep thinking of the many bad points, 'brainwashing' myself (and we still live under the same roof).

One day a new love will replace the old, yet they will never be truly 'gone'. Understand and learn to live with that, look back and remember the good times, yet don't miss them.

Take your mind off her, treat yourself. Go out with friends and have a chat with that girl who is watching you from the corner of her eyes....

[Progress]

Thanks for all the kind and reassuring words, guys. She actually called me in the morning on my birthday (the 4th). I was surprised to hear from her and even her voice sounded amazing but naturally it made me feel even worse. I've pretty much felt awful ever since. I guess it's just another thing that time will heal it eventually.

[Narnian]

I don't know what to tell you Progress. All I can tell you is that it is a healing process and sooner or later it will get better. I doubt things will ever seriously wipe her from your mind. That simply isn't possible with someone we have loved so intensely. But, that said it will get better and hopefully one day, you will be able to look back with fondness rather than pain. I hope so anyway.

[Progress]

Originally Posted by Narnian

I don't know what to tell you Progress. All I can tell you is that it is a healing process and sooner or later it will get better. I doubt things will ever seriously wipe her from your mind. That simply isn't possible with someone we have loved so intensely. But, that said it will get better and hopefully one day, you will be able to look back with fondness rather than pain. I hope so anyway.

Thank you. I understand that. I talked with her last night and a complete break with no more communication is what I need. That is what is going to happen.

I also found that this post is quite applicable to my situation.

http://www.consciousloving.com/forum...60&postcount=2

Thanks, again.

[Narnian]

Originally Posted by Progress

Thank you. I understand that. I talked with her last night and a complete break with no more communication is what I need. That is what is going to happen.

I think this is wise. I'm in the same position as you (were?). I'm not able to completely cut contact because we have several legal issues to resolve with the equity of the house. This requires me to talk to him regularly. It's been two years now that this has been going on and this past weekend has to have been one of the worst times during that time.

I have an urgent need to stop hurting now. I need to move on - not because I want to or because I feel that I can, but simply because my heart is tired of hurting. Every time I talk to him, it's rammed home how he doesn't care the way he did and it will never be what it once was. So at some point when all this legal stuff is sorted out, I know I have to instigate complete no contact with him. It's the only way I'm going to heal.

I can't change the situation we're in. He's moved on with someone else but I still have to sit and discuss things with him regarding our house and I still have to sit and hear him tell me he's hurting as much and tell me he still cares. I just can't do it anymore. I'm really really trying to focus on the reality that he's moved on... no matter what he says to me... he's with someone else. Nothing alters that fact.

I haven't begged him to dump her and for us to rebuild. I have more dignity than that. But it's clear that if he DID indeed still love me and still care... he wouldn't be where he is. He's hurting because he's a nice person who doesn't like the fact that sometimes, he's going to have to hurt someone. The harsh fact is that no matter how hurt and upset he is, his feelings for me clearly have changed but he's not able to tell me that because he has this misguided notion that it's going to hurt me. As if I'm not hurting enough anyway. Unfortunately for me... this is the third time he has hurt me quite significantly and I simply can't go on with it anymore.

It's hard and I'm hanging all my hope on the fact that 'no contact' will let me heal because I can't carry on feeling this level of pain. Two years is too much already.

[TheGetUpkid]

Originally Posted by Progress

Thank you. I understand that. I talked with her last night and a complete break with no more communication is what I need. That is what is going to happen.

I also found that this post is quite applicable to my situation.

http://www.consciousloving.com/forum...60&postcount=2

Thanks, again.

Ive been reading that post over and over again ever since my GF (or should I say ex GF) of 4 years and I broke up. I really understand how you are feeling, but Im hoping and sure that it will get better as time passes.