Sex is sacred — sex is a sin
Depending on the kind of situation you are in
Sex is serious — sex is a game
Sex is animal — sex is tame
Sex is a business — sex it is free
1-900 tell-it-to-me
Sex sells carburetors — sex sells beer
Sex is missionary — sex is queer Sex can be love — sex can be a weapon
Makes new babies
Can be the kiss of death
Scar you for life — or be all that you live for
Makes you act crazy
Sex and Consequences

Lyrics by Lisa McCormick
©1996, Lisa McCormick/Ruthie’s Noise - BMI
Used by permission.

How can any one word describe so many different experiences? Sex can be wonderful, or it can be mundane. Too often, it’s mundane. Almost everyone wants better sex. Many people want more sex. Why?

Well, sex IS one of our physical needs. It is primal, primitive, built-in and instinctual. Sex is necessary to the preservation of our species. And it can also feel REALLY wonderful. Sex can be one of the most powerful things that a person can experience. It can be a great date, a loving encounter, or a spiritual awakening. It can also be an addiction, the source of life-long pain, or even death.

strong, vocal part of our culture says, “If you want to be respectable in our society, then you must hide your sexuality. Better yet, deny your sexuality.” We are told we need to try to keep sex (that incredible, almost surreal power) under control. We are supposed to follow the sexual rules that society sets down for us.

At the same time, sex sells. So we get conflicting messages from television, movies, magazines, and books. Men look at pornography in private. Women read romance novels and women’s magazines to themselves. But we don’t really talk openly about sex very much.

I believe that conscious sex is the best sex there is. Is this a new concept? Absolutely not! We know that ancient cultures at least 2,800 years ago studied and practiced sex as a spiritual practice. I was lucky enough to awaken to a whole new way to be in relationship and to enjoy sexuality. And with a combination of curiosity, study, and practice, have tremendously improved my life in all areas, including sex.

You can improve your sex life by becoming more sexually conscious. Does conscious loving mean conscious sex? It sure can! Being conscious encompasses being aware of your whole being (body, mind, heart and soul). Your sexual self is an important part of your being. And yes, you can have conscious sex.

All the principles of conscious loving apply to conscious sex:

• Genuine love and commitment to yourself
• Genuine love and commitment to your partner’s well being
• Honesty
• Trust and integrity
• Appreciation
• Acknowledgment
• Acceptance
• Responsibility
• Celebration
• Generosity
• Awareness and wondering

You can move towards making your sex more conscious by wondering about, striving for, and being aware of:

• Who you really are, and what is going on within your body, your heart, your mind, and your soul. Loving yourself even when it is hardest to do. Treating yourself with kindness and compassion.
• Who you are having sex with. Feeling a strong connection to the person, an honest affection, more than just sexual attraction.
• Telling your sexual truths to your partner. Listening to and accepting your partner’s sexual truths. Never using your partner’s sexual truths against him or her.
• Doing what you say you will do, and not doing what you say you will not do.
• Appreciating your partner often, and expressing it through words and actions.
• Acknowledging that you hear and understand your partner. Listening well, and without judgment.
• Accepting your partner for who he or she is. Giving up any expectation of changing him or her.
• Appreciating, accepting, and acknowledging yourself for who you are.
• Taking 100% responsibility for your life. Giving up the victim position. Avoiding laying blame on others.
• Finding the fun in your relationship, both sexually and otherwise.
• Taking your partners needs and desires into consideration. Giving generously to your partner, in all aspects of your life together.
• Being more aware of what’s happening around you, and how you are reacting. Wondering why things are, rather than judging.
• Learning and practicing tools which assist in the above.

Not everyone knows how to do these things, and even if you do, there’s always room for improvement. Some are techniques that can be practiced. Some require adjustments of values and priorities. Some of them you can figure out for yourself; some can be learned from books; some require training or even therapy. Some can be implemented almost immediately, some take months or years to master.