When I first met my current girlfriend almost 2 years ago, I can honestly say I wasn’t much attracted to her, but her personality and fire within her captivated me. After a while, I was beginning to wonder if it was enough. I felt I needed to be with someone I was honestly attracted to. So, I decided to break up with her. It wasn’t at all easy, and we ended up back together again.

One thing I should mention is that, she is definitely a pretty girl, but the problem is her weight. I’ve always been more attracted to skinnier girls. After being with her for two years now, and getting to know her and her family and she getting to know mine, I’ve determined that she’s just absolutely perfect for me in all ways.. except, her weight. So much so that I’m convinced that I would marry her in a heartbeat if she lost about 40lbs.

She has been losing the weight gradually, and she’s working towards it. Her doctor even advised her to lose it if she wanted to have children. I’m just so confused right now at what to do. I know I love her, but why is it that I’m always thinking about this weight thing? How can I overcome it? Chances are that she’ll eventually lose the weight, since she has been losing weight constantly since we met, but I just want her to be there like, yesterday! I can’t imagine life without her, and that’s why I’m confused. Any insight?

Thanks.

Would Love Her  More Thinner

Dear Love Her More Thinner,

Insights? Either you love her AS IS, or you don’t. It is that simple. If you can’t get past the weight issue with someone who’s absolutely perfect for you, whose personality and fire within captivates you — then you’re absolutely NOT perfect for HER. Perhaps you need to look at why the weight thing is an issue for you. Is it your own image (what do other guys think about your girlfriend’s attractiveness) that you’re more concerned with than how you truly feel about her? If you didn’t have the weight thing to obsess about, what would you focus on next? And why is she putting up with you if you’re not attracted to her JUST AS SHE IS???

Believe me, none of us is “perfect”, or likely to stay that way. All manner of things can happen to any one of us that takes us out of the ideal image and into tragic circumstances. If you LOVE her, then LOVE HER ALL THE WAY. If not, then graciously and lovingly let her find someone who is capable of seeing the beauty of a woman who has a fire within, a captivating personality, and who can love a woman who is steadily becoming healthier but may always be larger than the skinny girls you fantasize preferring. (I say “fantasize” because if that’s who you really wanted to be with, you would be) I suggest you review this very carefully because pretty soon, you may not have to imagine life without her, you’ll get to experience it first hand.
Sincerely,

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