Dear Judith,

My girl and I are always together. She calls me every day, and every night. We eat out all the time, go to the park, and spend most evenings together, yet… She doesn’t want to date me. She can’t seem to live without me, yet, she tells me we’re just good friends. We’ve been together 6 months or more.

Though 2 years younger than me, she has had more experience dating than I have. I have never pushed the issue, as she has had lots more relationships than me. I was heavy in school and lost lots of weight. Now look a lot nicer. She is and always has been gorgeous. I’m talking not just cute, but striking. I don’t know what to do with her. She gives me that ‘look’ even other people notice it, and yet, she tells everyone we are just friends. I’m not the only one confused by this. Everyone thinks we have a true relationship, but her.

PLEASE Can somebody tell me what to do? I love her to pieces, but I don’t want to push her if she will never consider a relationship with me other than what she calls, her very very very dearest friend. I don’t go with this ‘ we’re too good a friends to date’ stuff. What does she want? To date somebody she isn’t friends with? ahhhhhhhhh! We spend every evening and weekend together, going to fairs, and car shows, and the like, but its not dating? Help!!!!

Want to be more

Dear Want to Be More,
You don’t tell me your ages but my guess is late adolescence, and you don’t say whether you have had an intimate relationship with her. Have you told her what you’ve told me? And are you willing to risk her saying “I can’t be romantically (sexually) involved”? She certainly seems to enjoy your company — alot! — But the only one who can give you clarity is the young woman involved. But first figure out what it is that you want that you don’t have right now. Then pump up your courage and ask her what it would take to be more than “friends”.
Sincerely,

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