Dear Judith,

i went out w/ this girl about a year and a half ago for a year. While we were going out i had the attitude of whatever, like I didn’t realize what i had and didn’t care about what happened between us. I’ll admit i was a huge asshole to her and her mom. i broke up w/ her b/c i couldn’t stand her any more and everything she said or did got on my nerves. so basically i broke up w/ her for little stuff and also b/c i wanted to have fun and get w/ other girls. towards the end of the relationship I cheated on her but she forgave me for it but i still broke up w/ her. i talked to her on the phone for about 2 months after we broke up. you could say that i lead her on b/c in a way i wanted her to still be there for me but i didn’t want to be w/ her i wanted to get w/ other girls. i got w/ my number of girls throughout the summer and my senior year in high school and she got a b/f in the end of the summer that she claimed she was in love w/. there was a lot of bad mouthing by the both of us on each other.

but that stopped after a couple of months. i got sick of getting w/ a different girl every weekend and i wanted a relationship again. she got back in my head and I started thinking about her a lot. now we haven’t talk to this point in about 7 months even though we were in the same school. so any ways she broke up w/ her b/f before that i was debating for about a month on talking to her or even calling her just to see what she was up to. one day out of the blue she calls me saying that she just want to tell me congratulations on graduating good luck in college. i don’t even think that you’ll know how happy i was to hear her voice. we started talking and it lead to talking for like a week about getting back together.

she suggested that before we started hanging out and everything else that i come over and apologize to her mom b/c she didn’t want to sneak it and neither did i so i agreed. Well to make it short the shit hit the fan w/ me and her mom but i did apologize to her and tell her how i was immature and a huge asshole to the both of them. Well it was all down hill from there w/ us. the next thing i knew this girl was back w/ her ex b/f. that blew my mind and i knew that her mom got in her head and I also knew from talking to her on the phone and all that she wasn’t happy w/ him. this all happened at the end of May beginning of June and since then I’ve only talked to her on the computer like twice but just saying hi and that’s it. now it’s Sept. even though she is still w/ her b/f i still think about her all the time, and recently everything i see or do reminds me of her. i actually seen her today b/c i went to a high school football game and she is a cheerleader. I saw her looking at me today and when i turned to look back she turned her head. so could that be telling me something or not? do you think that there could be any thing still there between us or am i just thinking about her all the time b/c i haven’t had a g/f since her and you could say i’m lonely in a way? ”

Whatever”

Dear “Whatever,”

Yes, you might say you’ve behaved in a supremely immature manner throughout this relationship!! I would recommend some serious looking at your attitudes and valuing of females and see if there might be a reason why you are lonely??? There may or may not be something between you and this girl but I wouldn’t even begin to suggest you attempt to find out until you do some serious growing up and addressing your behaviours towards women. If she really is as important to you as you say, then use that desire as a fuel to inspire you to become the person whom she would be proud to be with — and that her mother could forgive and be comfortable that her daughter is dating.

Sincerely,

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