I am a mature woman who has been involved in an “intimate relationship” for one and one-half years, stemming from a meeting on an adult internet site. Recently, my partner became engaged. Due to his cultural upbringing, the two were introduced by both parents and the engagement occurred within 4 months.

My partner continued to see me after his engagement, of which, at the time I had not been informed. (I was always clear with him that he was to inform me if the family-arranged relationship began to turn serious.) As of two days ago, this man continues to place ads on the adult-meeting website for more partners, and exchanges emails and photos. I don’t believe there is anything wrong with people meeting on adult websites, however, I am adamantly against extra-marital affairs or committed relationship cheaters.

I have no interest in continuing my association with this man. That is the easy part since there is really no emotional connection. My concern is for the woman who is engaged to marry him. She is a medical professional in a city 200 miles away and is pulling up stakes to be with him. My heart breaks for this woman since she obviously has no idea how much she does not know about this man. And, since this has gone on for so long already, it is clear that he doesn’t plan on telling her about his alternate sex life.

Do I ignore her impending painful relationship and go on about my business? As a woman, I would hope that someone would inform me of such a serious issue and save me from potentially ruining my life. I talked this over with a friend who had the similar experience with a gay friend who married a woman just so he could have a child. Her life was destroyed once she learned of his homosexuality. What’s your advice?

This is a sticky situation, and there’s no easy answer. Except that the woman hasn’t apparently asked for any advice and may well know that her intended is also a player. While this is not the kind of relationship you would want to participate in, it could be that his behaviour is culturally sanctioned and she is willing to accept him.

You certainly could advise her of the situation and invite her to check him out on the web-sites involved. But be careful how you approach this… it could backfire on you.
Sincerely,

To submit a question to the Advice Columnist, send us an email to AdviceColumn@ConsciousLoving.com. We suggest you read Hints for Getting Your Advice Question Published.

Disclaimer: The advice on this blog is intended for informational, educational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing on this site should be construed as medical or psychiatric advice, nor is it a substitute for the care of licensed health professionals. In the event you use any of this advice for yourself, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

All original content on this site is copyrighted. Please contact us if you’d like permission to reprint anything. We are happy to share as long as prior request is made and full credit to the Author and ConsciousLoving.com is made.