Dear Judith,

My Girlfriend and I have been going out for almost a year now. Up until now I think everything has been going great. We realized that we were in love only after a few months. The problem is now she has school, band, and work to deal with. She says going out with me is like an appointment that she must schedule into her plans, and even though she still loves me wants to go on break to figure out whether or not she really wants to be with me. I love her very much and wanted some advice on how we can keep the relationship together.

Weasel

Dear “Weasel,”

When someone needs time off (and it does sound like your gal has a really full schedule) it is really wise to let them have that time. As much as you want to hold on, doing so will just create more pressure for someone already under so much stress. Giving her space will impress her with your consideration and care for HER — less emphasis on your demands, more acknowledgment and support of her needs.

Find things that interest YOU… if she is so actively involved in meaningful activities, what are you doing? Do you work? play an instrumment or have a sport or hobbies that you really enjoy? Study? If not, if she’s you’re only “hobby,” get into life and find what interests you. You’ll be much more interesting to her — much more than an appointment she has to fit into her schedule!!
Sincerely,

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