Dear Judith,

I’ve dealt with an issue for over 10 years. Its one I am dealing with my spouse. I first met him in high school where we were squeamish little school kids, then our love flourished and two years later we were married. To make a long story short, my husband is seriously hyper… Sometimes he just spaces off and sometimes he just pulls things out of nowhere. Now, I know you’re saying to yourself… men (and women) are like that sometimes, but he’s like this a lot… I guess he always has been but I never really noticed it before. The part of it I’m struggling with is that I am very embarrassed by the way he acts when we are with other couples or by the things he says or the fact he can’t just sit and relax.

I don’t know if I’M the one being crazy or if he truly needs some social skills… I love him and I want to be with him but having no social life together is hurting our relationship… Please give me a fair judgment, I would appreciate it! THANKS

Red Faced

Dear “Red Faced,”

I would strongly advise you to talk to your medical doctor or knowledgable health care provider — particularly someone who is astute in regards to biochemical, physiological imbalances. I can’t tell from your description exactly what is going on but one of the first things I would do as an holistic psychotherapist is have a complete medical and psychological workup done to see what role body chemistry is playing in his behaviours.

What you are describing sounds like some imbalances are probable and I would certainly start with what can be more easily corrected by diet, nutrition, supplements, etc. It is amazing what a diet high in sugars, refined carbs, caffiene, junk foods, foods we have trace allergies to, preservatives, etc. can do to one’s attention span, “hyper-ness” or lethargy, innattention, attention deficit disorders, and a host of psychological and social disorders.

I would also be attentive to the possiblity of substance abuse or use. After screening out these issues , I would then seek a therapist skilled in social disorders and relationship issues and get some professional help. Let me know what you discover. I’d like some follow up on this.
Sincerely,

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