I just recently moved in with my boyfriend of two years and I need advice on the following. He likes to take a weekend night every week to go out by himself. This wouldn’t be a problem, but he has cheated several times and I have found numerous phone numbers. Now his defense for the phone numbers is that it’s just an ego stroker, but that he is not doing it anymore (that is what he says). The reason for going out on the weekend is because he needs a night out for himself. He says that he is at home every night during the week, and would like to go out to have a few drinks and dance. When I ask him if I could go; he says again, he needs his time for himself.

He treats me well and takes great care of me. He takes me to the movies (during the day) and to his company functions and anything else he is invited to.

What is really going on with this guy? Am I stupid??

The Number Takers Girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,

Let’s get some clarity here, OK? He’s an unfaithful guy who collects other women’s phone numbers to stroke his ego and wants a weekly weekend night “by himself” to go drinking and dancing without you.

I can’t quite get my mind around your belief that he treats you well and takes great care of you when he uses you as arm candy for social events and is quite possibly subjecting you to STD’s if he’s done more than hold hands dancing. I’d recommend immediate and weekly medical testing for STD’s as long as you partner with this Lothario. STD’s can kill, but they can also leave you sterile, chronically ill, contagious to any other partner you may have the rest of your life, plus contaminate any pregnancy you may have, or just make you miserable and embarrassed.

What’s really going on with this guy is that he is doing whatever he’d do as a bachelor with a live-in bed-mate for convenience and comfort: HIS! Do you get the same privilige with a weekend night out, drinking & dancing with unlimited phone numbers to collect?? If so, why are you two LIVING with each other and not just dating whomever you desire? and if not, why the inequality??

You ask “Are you stupid??” YOU answer that question. You’re smart enough to question this very one-sided, inequitable and unsafe relationship, aren’t you? Then, use that questioning mind to get some smart, obvious, and very beneficial-to-you answers!
Sincerely,

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