Dear Judith,

I am in-love with someone who won’t open up their heart. I’ve known them for years, and throughout these years, they have never mentioned once that they didn’t like me. The problem is, they won’t say that they do like me.

I’ve told them how i felt, but all they could say is, they know already that i feel this way. Sometimes, they show they really care when we are alone, other times, they show they could care less. i know for a fact that this person hasn’t been with anyone for a long time. i am not being naive on this, i know this. i don’t know what to do anymore, as i am in love with this person who won’t budge.

i understand that a person may just simply not like another person, but i don’t believe this is the case. i think this person has feelings but won’t do anything about it. i have tried everything, and would love to give up, but i don’t know how. i can’t get them out of my mind. i would love to, but i don’t know what to do. i don’t give any others a chance, because i still have hope. all i need is for this person to say there’s no chance, but they won’t. i really need to move on, but i can’t figure out how to move on. any advise would be great.

Brokenhearted

Dear “Brokenhearted,”

This person has told you in every way but loud words that they are not available for a relationship — perhaps with anyone. This person is not interested in changing. It doesn’t matter if this person or any other person has feelings — or not — if they don’t want to share them, don’t want do do anything about those feelings, and have never expressed them to you, YOU CAN’T MAKE THEM!

This person has SHOWN you there is no chance — they don’t NEED to say it, they SHOW you there’s no chance by not being available, by not sharing feelings, by not showing you they care (except maybe in secret).

You can move on by doing just that: moving on. Find things you are interested in, get involved in your community, in volunteering, give of yourself, become active in music, art, sports, hobbies, anything that gets you moving, out, among interesting and alive people and MOVE ON. It isn’t easy, but it is simple: refocus your attention on creating a healthy, interesting, meaningful life of your own.

If you need to, and can, MOVING might be a good idea, if it gets you moving into your life and out of this person’s — or any other person’s — who doesn’t have space or time for you. You deserve to have love and friendship and partnership in your life! Look for someone who is interested in sharing that with you!!
Sincerely,

To submit a question to the Advice Columnist, send us an email to AdviceColumn@ConsciousLoving.com. We suggest you read Hints for Getting Your Advice Question Published.

Disclaimer: The advice on this blog is intended for informational, educational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing on this site should be construed as medical or psychiatric advice, nor is it a substitute for the care of licensed health professionals. In the event you use any of this advice for yourself, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
All original content on this site is copyrighted. Please contact us if you’d like permission to reprint anything. We are happy to share as long as prior request is made and full credit to the Author and ConsciousLoving.com is made.